I wrote a poem a few months ago called How to Give Your Man the Best Sex Ever. That post can be found at: https://eroticapoetica.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/how-to-give-your-man-the-best-sex-ever/ That is a metaphorical bit of poetry, and not really straightforward advice. However it is true that most guys I have been with have told me that sex with me is the best they’ve ever had, and so I consider myself something of an authority on the subject, and I wish to offer some real advice. I know people sometimes search this topic and stumble upon my site, so perhaps my thoughts here can be of some use.
To start with, I would like to say that truly great sex is first and foremost a “mindfuck.” Great physical technique and touch is only part of it, though certainly an important one, don’t get me wrong. The attention that you give to your man, appealing to his mind and all of his senses, will enhance the experience to a level beyond what he has encountered before. Warning: you may make him completely addicted to you and then you will have to deal with him mindfucking you in his own way on a continuous basis.
Attitude is very important. From what I have heard, a lot of women can be insecure in the sexual arena. There is so much pressure from society for women to look a certain way and to feel ashamed of their bodies. That pressure is real and we all feel it, but when you enter the bedroom, cast it aside, as you do with your clothes. Allow yourself to inhabit the nakedness of your human self, the beauty and sensuality of being in your glorious body, of feeling what you can feel, of being who you can be. Whatever makes you feel most sensual is how you want to be when you are in the bedroom with your man, whether that means being totally nude, adorning yourself with sexy lingerie, or whatever you might like to wear that you consider erotic. The key is not so much about how you look, though you may naturally gravitate towards attractive garments, but more so how you feel. It is your own pleasure that will inspire your man to experience the greatest pleasure.
Personally I like to wear panties in bed. I love the feel of the silkiness and the lace rubbing against my skin. It adds an extra sense of frission for me. I also like high heels. They make me feel extra sexy.
It is important for you to know how to provide pleasure for yourself. If you don’t know what you like, a man will be hard-pressed to give it to you. And you need to be able to know how to be pleased as this is the most important component of the sexual experience for your man. That may sound strange as maybe you think that the most important part of this “best sex ever” will be your man’s pleasure. Yet the key here is that men are goal oriented and natural providers and they will find pleasure on a deeper level from actually being able to please you then they will ever find from getting off themselves. That is a little known secret about men. When they can give you real pleasure, and you let them know it, and let them know that you appreciate it, they will feel like a masculine superhero, and that is no doubt a feeling that they don’t get very often, that they will really relish.
From what I understand, many women are hesitant to masturbate and may have a hard time bringing themselves to orgasm. Women’s bodies are subtle and complicated. Each one is different. Women have different kinds of orgasms, clitoral orgasms, vulva orgasms and g-spot orgasms, and different combinations of each, and so each woman will experience her pleasure in her own unique way. I encourage you to first explore your own body on your own to find out what you like.
Then you must be willing to teach your man about what you like. Show him how to touch you in the right way, or touch yourself when you are with him. Use toys with him if you are into that. Don’t be ashamed to show him what you like, and understand that your man will not judge you, rather he will be excited to see you enjoying yourself sexually. Guide him by gently encouraging him and rewarding him with very positive feedback when he does things right. He may not always do it exactly the way that you want, but if you keep guiding him and positively rewarding him with compliments, you will motivate him to keep working on pleasing you.
Which brings us to another aspect of the attitude that you bring to the bedroom and you take to your man: you want to be very accepting and positive about everything, and very present with the creative flow between the two of you. I regard sex as a sacred sharing between myself and my partner. When I choose to have sex with a man, I want to share with him my deepest self, which is my most loving self.
There is a great deal of vulnerability in the sexual experience. You are baring yourself completely, allowing someone inside of you. They are close enough to smell your scents, taste your skin and your body fluids, hear your ragged breaths, see you contort your face in unusual positions. Create an atmosphere in which all is embraced. The more you embrace and celebrate the uniqueness of your man, the more he will embrace you.
The more that you attune to your own pleasure the more you will be aware of what feels good, and you will know how to provide this to your man as well. You have so many ways to give pleasure to your man at any moment, and also to receive. Make it a game, make it art, make it theater, give it your all.
I like to kiss and lick my man all over. Not only is this an expression of my love and desire for him but it also feels wonderful on his skin.
There are parts of the body that do not commonly get very much attention but can be quite erogenous. The ears, for one. My first boyfriend would stick his tongue in my ear and that felt incredible. I do that with my lovers, nibble on their earlobes or squeeze them lightly with my fingertips. You can search out hidden places on your partners body that crave stimulation.
I have noticed that men seem to love to receive touch in the area beneath their balls, between their balls and their asshole, known as the perineum. You can feast on this area, his little asshole, as well as his cock and balls to give him a very special blowjob. Your man will be especially grateful.
You want to be attentive to how your man is feeling, and you want to also give him as much feedback as possible about what you are feeling. The easiest way to do this is with audible breathing and sounds. Do not be afraid to go crazy with moans, screams and cries. Your man will love that he is making you scream. There is a special power in saying his name during sex, but u may want to save that for special moments when you are at the height of your pleasure, and you are acknowledging that it is him who brought you there. Other kinds of dirty talk and ego validating flattery is also a huge turn on for men. You can also be clear about what you like and what you want if you say “I love that!” Or “that feels so good” so your man will know what to do more of.
I extend my blessings to you for great sex and I welcome your questions and comments.